But moving on.
This thought has been plaguing me for some time now. It may be controversial, but I don't care. Here it is, my dark secret: I don't want to see Patti LuPone in Gypsy.

But why? Lena, don't you know that Patti LuPone is so amazing? And isn't Gypsy the best musical ever? What's wrong with you?
Here are my reasons. They are sevenfold.
1. I saw Bernadette Peters as Mama Rose five years ago and she was amazing.
2. I did Gypsy in regional theatre four years ago and experienced the show 49 times (not including rehearsals). That's a lot of Gypsy. I still haven't gotten over it.
3. It's three hours long!
4. Tickets to Broadway musicals cost a lot of money and I'm poor now because I just moved (I'd be poor anyways. I don't make much money. Can you get me a job?).
5. I secretly think that I would be the best Mama Rose ever and I don't want to see anybody else do it but me.
6. It's three hours long! I thought that was worth pointing out again.
7. I saw Patti as Mama Rose at City Center last summer (Ana and Sarah took me for my birthday). I know, you're thinking, what? So you have seen her! Aha! But apparently, all the reviewers say she's so much better now and that everyone who didn't like it that much should see it again. I won't believe it until I see it. But I don't want to see it. So maybe I just won't believe it, period.
Those are my reasons. Disagree with them if you must.